January 30, 2008
So make the best of this test and don't ask why...
I hope you've had the time of your life.
Amazing song there, folks. By probably my all-time favorite band, Green Day. LOVE them. That's actually very old school GD, but it's what came to mind when my "Create New Post" screen popped open.
So much has happened since that last post about our dear Nana. Judy. We almost lost her. Well, that sounds dramatic, but we definitely could have.
She hasn't been feeling well for a couple of months. She says she's old and then tells me to mind my own business when I urge her to call her doctor. She's also a nurse so that makes her a terrible patient. And she's a two-time breast cancer survivor (warrior), so that makes me a bit... anxious when it comes to her health. So anyhow, she's been short of breath for a while. She attributed it to asthma and COPD (she quit smoking 2 packs a day of methols just last September, after almost 40 years).
Sunday, she had some bleeding - I won't mention where, but it was somewhere you never want to see blood coming from. And it gave her a TON to talk about, given her previously mentioned fascinations. Rambling again, sorry. So, the bleeding got bad enough for me to make her call her doctor, who of course insisted she go to the ER. Lots and lots of hours later she was admitted, CAT scanned, and colonoscopized and had a diagnosis of diverticulosis (irritation of the bowel lining - not serious).
Seems while she was there they also did an EKG and found something "funny." Suddenly one overnight in the hospital turned into two, and two into three, and we had a cardiologist watching her. She had a heart catheterization this morning, during which they found her right coronary artery (the one that supplies crucial oxygen to her heart muscles themselves) to be 75% blocked in one spot and 95% blocked in another. Judy is now the proud owner of two shiny new stints. And we're on day 4 in the hospital now. She's been told she'll be released tomorrow morning and can go right back to every day activity - including chasing grandkids (yes, I specifically asked).
So, I will admit that while my biggest prayers surrounded the health of my one family person (and fears of being orphaned totally swam in my head), I had a few extraneous prayers that concentrated a bit on a certain trip I've been planning. A certain flight I have to catch on Friday morning. And I had guilt over those prayers, but I'm just being honest here. It's been YEARS since I've had the ability or opportunity to do anything for myself, really, just to do it. And this is sort of the culmination of my new path in a lot of ways. To not go would be more than a disappointment. It would totally break my heart. That said, I need to get Nana well first - then run like hell for the airport.
So, because Judy's been in the hospital, I've had to be a stay at home mom (strike that - I've been a running, schlepping madwoman) with Mabel since Monday. I imagine work is none too happy about it, but such is the life of a single mother with only one babysitter, I suppose. I need to find me some more of those suckers (kidding).
Anyhow, one of my work friends (a devout Christian woman) sent me an email asking about my mother. I asked her if it was okay to tell God that my plate was full. She said, "yes, but that means it's time to ask Him for help managing it." I told her that I felt like God has been carrying me through the sand since September.
I really do. And I am thankful for SO, SO much.
Two sleeps until Mabel and I board a plane headed for Lulu's!
Please pray the snowstorm they're predicting doesn't start until after 8am!
January 25, 2008
January 24, 2008
My mom is Judy. God love her. I love her to pieces, too. My mother is of a certain age and from a certain generation. She says "gararge" and "di-a-per" and "warsh." She finds fun in a variety of things like surgical stockings, green tea, peanut M&Ms, and p00p. She's a nurse so there's nothing more fun than talking up an interesting BM.
This afternoon she and I watched A Baby Story together. On the show there was a preemie birth. The baby came home healthy and the mommy was interviewed while burping her baby on her lap.
Judy looks up and sees this burping and says, "that's what they have to do to preemies, you know."
I said, "what is?"
"Burp them," she said.
Ahhhh. Classic Judyism there, folks.
January 22, 2008
Look out, J - I'm quite the lofty girl and might squarsh you by accident! Whoah...... look at me!
I can't wait to discuss all sorts of things with you - b00bies, mommies, brothers, bottles, the nose-suckery thingie, sitting up, cooing, and of course, toots.
PS - I'm turning 4 months old on Saturday. Don't tell my mommy; it will make her too sad.
It's Monday, which I like, which means it's a new week, a fresh start - and I have a TON of things to do.
- I have to make a list of what to pack to go see Lulu. My bag, Moo's bag (and fret about how to haul them through the airport while pushing Moo in her stroller), shoes, toiletries, baby junk, my camera, the list is GROWING.
- Start an inspiration binder/file/journal about our new place, wherever that is. I'm itching. It will still be a couple of months yet, but I need to do it. And it will take many, many lists, lol.
- Worry about my mom (prayers requested, please). No further details right now.
- Write a letter TO my comfy shoes (that I'll never mail) stating why exactly they do not support and comfort me anymore. A list of resentments. This, at the advice of my therapist, is needed for me to drop the guilt I feel about taking my shoes off.
- Report my comfy shoes to greater authorities for failure to do as they have been ordered. Fun.
On a different note, we had much excitement on Martin Luther King Day. Trevor finally, FINALLY lost a tooth. Poor kid is over 7 and finally joining the likes of his peers.
Of course the tooth hullaballoo got Andy all sorts of jealous, ever wanting to follow in Trevor's footsteps - or even maybe one day actually beat him to something. He sulked and fussed for better than an hour that he hadn't lost his very own tooth. So, I sat down and checked his teeth just to make him feel better - at 5 1/2 I certainly didn't expect any wigglers (especially since older brother is over 7!). Wouldn't you know. Even Andy's teeth have Andy's timing. They do things when they want to do them. Making a statement the whole time, lol. All four bottom teeth are loose. Thank GOODNESS Trevor lost his first - he would have been crushed!
For now, Andy is a wiggling fool, trying to get one/some/all to fall out so that he, too can be visited by the tooth fairy and get a dollar.
Why do they have to grow up so fast? :(
January 18, 2008
e was so proud when I busted him for reading. :)
He is SUCH a stinker. But man, oh man, do I ever love him.
Seems Trevor wanted to experience a bit of that little sister smooshy body closeness for himself. I love that both of the boys try really hard to soothe her; it's so sweet.
So, Lulu and I continued to gab for a while and when we hung up and I went back into the living room, I was greeted by another site that melted my heart.
He'd somehow managed to sit her up, get underneath her with the Boppy pillow, lay her on top of it and had time to get all comfy, too. She was playing with his lips and nose (until I put a stop to that preciousness - I mean, hello - germs!).
He's her brother and she likes it that way.
January 15, 2008
Have you ever had a pair of shoes for like, YEARS, that you just can't stop wearing? They seem to go with every outfit and mold to any occassion. They feel good on your feet and you look fantastifabulous in them. Your shoes garnish all kinds of compliments so you begin to think that they're the only pair you need... nothing could ever be wrong with your shoes... they must be PERFECT, right? You're perfectly happing tossing aside other shoes and wearing only that one pair of comfy shoes. You take good care of your shoes, too - truly trying everything you can to keep them around forever.
Sometimes your comfy shoes continue to fit you well despite the constant wear but sometimes (and this is scary if you're dedicated and love your shoes) they just give out. Most of the time you don't even realize that they're worn out until you have the guts to take them off of your feet and inspect them a little bit. Look at places you might not really want to see, like say, every road you've ever walked.
Sometimes the sole is worn out and your shoes can no longer support you and the dreams you're on your way to achieving.
Sometimes the sides break down and just don't comfort you anymore.
Sometimes we look down and notice that our poor shoes need some attention if they're going to keep carrying us over the long haul. Maybe in an effort to spiff up your shoes you put them in the washer and dryer to clean them off a bit - refresh them and make them like new again. Only, your shoes are shrunken and misshapen after that wash. And maybe, despite your best efforts, they don't feel good anymore. Maybe they even hurt.
Sometimes you notice that, over the years, your feet have grown and changed and that you can't get to where you need to go anymore.
Maybe you start to wonder why you're wearing shoes at all. If your feet are tired and hurting, isn't it easier to just kick them off and walk on your own bare feet?Truth is, most of us would keep wearing our comfy shoes despite all of these changes because that's what we're used to. We push and shove our feet into this pair of comfy shoes that we're afraid to part with even when we're not supported, not comforted, not carried and feeling pain. When we're no longer getting compliments or feeling great in or about our shoes.
We're afraid to take them off and do that true inspection I was talking about - to look at where we've been and wonder why we wore those shoes for so, so long. Because it hurts to think you've been walking in vain and making your pain worse.
I think we're afraid to do it because we'll not only realize that our shoes need tossing, but also that our feet are no longer the same. That our feet really hurt. I think we're afraid to think about what that means and how to deal with it.
Well, I'm in the process of tossing my comfy shoes. I've had the same pair on my feet for more than a decade and they are showing more than signs of wear. They have disintigrated, really. And when I think about it, my feet really, really hurt. Truth is, they haven't really been supported or comforted or carried for a long time no matter how I tried to think so. Taking care of my shoes didn't work. They just gave out. Wore out. Maybe I outgrew them and deserve better shoes.
So, I think I'll find me a pair of boots that were made for walking. Walking boots that will help take me where I need to be to be HAPPY.
January 14, 2008
Finally, a page of Miss Moo. I have to share a short story with you before you can fully appreciate the hilarity of this layout (and then again you might not then either, lol). But it's funny to me. Anyway, moving on... my mother in law bought Mabel a very fancy outfit from Strausberg Children's when she was born. I took a few pictures in the bonnet and bloomers (check out my blog in early October and you'll see them), but then our life imploded and the outfit was packed away and Moo grew unbelieveably fast. So, the mother in law was pestering me to take some pictures of her ("all professional-like") in the full outfit so that she could have an oil painting made. I am flattered by this, but time has not been on my side. As a newly single mom it's not easy making time for baths, meals, and breathing, let alone a photo shoot. Long story short, I stuck her in the newborn-sized outfit at 12 weeks. It was HILARIOUS how her fat rolls chubbed out of the sides and edges of this thing, lol. I had to take it off pretty quickly because it was cutting off the circulation to her big fatso arms. So, I took a bunch of fancy pictures. They are beautiful and darling, but I'm not a super fancy gal and neither is my Mabel. I took the fancy booties off of her chubbo feet and took the bottom shot. Then I took the one of her tipping over while reaching for her feet (and trying to breathe inside of this WAY too dang small outfit) by mistake. I HAD to scrap them.
A close up of the painted foam stamp (Michael's for $1, people!), the Thickers alpha, a red button, and a white glass brad from whoknowswhere.
January 10, 2008
So, I *swooned* so much for these, that I bought them this week. They should come via UPS delivery sometime next week. In plenty of time for my visit to see Lulu!
January 7, 2008
This one is a lift of Jamie Waters. I made it my own, but I was inspired by the idea of capturing my thoughts and grief over my last pregnancy - and I totally loved the layout.
For this one, I got into the transparency idea. I printed out a coloring book page and made a transparency out of it. Then, I journaled on the rough side of the transparency after attaching it to the page.
This one didn't come out the way I wanted it. I'm probably going to order a Heidi Swapp polka dotted mask, pull everything off of the black cardstock to paint white polka dots on it, and then reattach. This one started off digital and I reworked it in real life. Not finished yet.
This one is a lift of Donna Downey, big time. I loved the 'Did You Know?' idea to capture all of Mabel's cuteness. Now I'm having trouble with the title - that's what that huge blank space is for near the top. Ideas?
I worked on this one over Christmas break but finally added the pic to it last night. I love the page, but the journaling is far too private to share. Sorry!
Today - for the third time in the three weeks since they started riding - the schoolbus driver drove. right. by.
I hollered (yes, HOLLERED), "HEY!!!" We were standing right in the driveway, but weren't in the street. Apparently this schoolbus driver only stops when the children stand directly in front of her bus as it's coming toward them. THEN she realizes she has to stop. If she does it again, I'm calling the school.
On an unrelated note, I have a funny story to share. Andy often flounces about the house talking to himself, pretending, being Zorro, an ambulance (pronounced 'am-bee-wance' by Andy) driver, or whatever and over the weekend, he was cheering. I don't know what he was cheering for. He started with, "two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?" and then starting with the musical countdown of, "one, TOOT, a-one, TOOT, three, four!" He's so cute I could eat him up.