So. Many. Things. Swimming around in my head.
First, we are in Ohio. It was Dad's turn with the kids this Christmas, so I was the grown-up and drove an accumulative 17 hours so the kids could see him for the first time in 5 months. He refuses to visit them in Da Plains. They have looked forward to seeing him for a long time. There is a lot of pressure for this trip.
It was confirmed yesterday that Comfy Shoes is wearing another pair of feet. ?? My metaphors are slurring. He has a girlfriend. A serious one. Who has 2 children. There is a lot more detail to this, but out of respect for her privacy, I will not say more today. But this obviously adds even more pressure because the kids will meet her on Christmas. Ambush-style, I'm afraid. They know nothing about her yet.
I am fighting off feelings of vomit in my mouth, honestly. I am okay with the girlfriend, but I am not okay with some of the details I can't share. Sorry. Suffice it to say, it's hard to know Shoes has been ignoring his own children completely for months in favor of someone else's.
I got my hair done today. Back to my natural color. I love it. I feel like me. It was fun to be blonde and I may be one day again, but for now, my wallet will remain much fuller without having to pay for insanely expensive and high maintenance highlights.
That's it for now. Please say prayers for us tomorrow when the 3 little hands pass from my palm to his, for the first time in over 5 months. Mabel may not even know him. The boys are holding him accountable on their own accord. There may be emotional explosions. They will meet Feet.
I have to have FAITH. And breathe.