June 18, 2009

The One

Love is hard stuff, isn't it? I think the really good stuff should be kind of hard. Not the kind of hard that I put up with for almost 10 years that leaves you alone and empty inside, but the kind that leaves you sweaty and hard-worked but fills you up to bursting and makes you feel alive. Oh, I want that!

I am so happy that my someone was my someone while he was, but alas, he was not The One. He was just the first guy I dated after my divorce was final. I wanted to believe he would turn into more, but it just wasn't meant to happen that quickly I guess. Perhaps there is more to be written of our story, but I'll have to wait and see.

I take refuge in the fact that my God knows exactly where The One is. He is somewhere out there right now, looking for ME - AND MY KIDS.

So today I was driving and steamy mad at how silly I was to even consider giving first guy any part of my heart whatsoever, when I realized a few things:

  1. The One will think my laughter is contagious. He won't be humiliated when I flake out and make a total fool of myself in public (it happens often, Folks).

  2. The One will think my eyes are swoon-worthy and my knees, delicious.

  3. The One will not fill up with fear at the prospect of meeting Larry, Moe, and Curly Sue at home. He will feel worthy, honored, and capable.

  4. The One will sing "Rio" with me when I'm anxious.

  5. The One will be entirely captivated at how creative I am, how strong I can be, and how passionate I am about who & what I love.

  6. The One will be in love with Jesus.

  7. The One will be in love with me, for who I am. For what I love, for what I feel.

  8. The One will sit with me at the table while I sew or scrapbook and talk, for hours about nothing at all whatsoever.

  9. The One will find my adoration of pencil skirts and high heels adorable. Especially if I wear them with a necktie or a cowboy hat. To church.

  10. The One will just chuckle when I break into British accent by accident sometimes. Also, The One can handle watching Bridget Jones repeatedly.

  11. The One will leap out of bed in the middle of the night to return Mabel's dropped binky, as if he'd always done it.

  12. The One will make me feel protected and safe - my knight in shining whatever.

  13. The One will fold the kids and I into his life as if we'd always been there.

  14. The One will have the ability to endure hours-long marathons of The Office or The Golden Girls on rainy days and while I'm cooking.

  15. The One will not only see how much I love him by the way I prepare our meals, but he will help me in the kitchen.

  16. The One can bench press Andy and clean a toilet.

  17. The One will listen to me hypothesize about everything, including Trevor's habit of licking his boogers. Coincidentally, The One will also not cringe when I blog about things like licking boogers.

  18. I will not be able to stop myself from throwing my arms around The One's neck and saying, "I like you, too."

I feel better now. He's there. I just have to find him.

EDITED: There is more to this story - HERE.


  1. I think the One is closer to you than you think ;)

  2. Part of me smiled at your list... I made a "list" on the night that started a chain of events that eventually led me to my husband. (long story... better suited for an email.) But mostly I just want to say ugh... I agree... love is hard stuff. Wishing you the best. ;)