June 23, 2011

Here With Me

I need to share something with you people right this very second.

Something was on my mind today. For a while. Nothing serious, but it’s been seriously chewing at me. Bothering me to a point that I’ve been bothering Bryon with stupidness. No, really, I have. This morning, I talked to Jesus about it. Again. I know I’ve mentioned it to Him before. In fact, I know I’ve given it over to Him a few times.

Problem is, I’ve taken it back. Tried to carry it around and manage it for a while myself. That’s bullshit, Peeps. And I did it SO BAD!

Anyway, I festered about it all day. I got myself ALL upset and physically sick over it. I sent B a note to say I wanted to pray about it tonight together. Sometime toward the end of the day, I went out into the plant because I needed to see my One. I walked through the machines and listened to the factory noises. I started singing to myself (I do this a lot – the machines are loud enough people can’t hear me):

“I can feel your presence here with me… suddenly I’m lost within your beauty. I’m caught up in the wonders of your touch, here in this moment I surrender to your love.”

Over and over again I sang this line, until it’s possible some production workers might have seen me singing to myself as I walked around. I kept walking until I smelled the familiar smell of machine oil, as I neared Bryon’s shop. I waited for a forklift to park in the corner and then ascended those white, wooden steps up to his office area. I think of Tomato Soup every single time I go up those steps. Bryon is the manager now, so his office is in the back instead of by the door… but the entire space was empty. The only noise was the wall air conditioner behind me. And the lyrics in my head, over and over. I was still softly singing.

“I can feel your presence here with me… suddenly I’m lost within your beauty. I’m caught up in the wonders of your touch, here in this moment I surrender to your love.”

I wasn’t absolutely certain that Bryon wasn’t there; I needed to peer around the corner and into his office to be sure. And so I did. And what I saw caught my breath in my throat and brought tears to my eyes IMMEDIATELY.

Bryon was not there. But his computer monitor was visible where his body should have been sitting. His screensaver is what did it. It took me right down.

At some point in the last who knows when, my husband changed his screensaver. To be honest, I’m not even sure what it was before… but this. This was His hand. On Bryon’s computer screen was an artist’s rendition of Jesus Christ, hanging on the cross.

There He was, right in front of me.

“I can feel your presence here with me… suddenly I’m lost within your beauty. I’m caught up in the wonders of your touch, here in this moment I surrender to your love.”




You could have knocked me over with a feather.

OUR GOD IS AMAZING.

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