November 10, 2011

Things I Love Thursday

Today's Things I Love post will be different. Just can't bring myself to post about cute pencil pants or fingernail polish or puppy dogs. Not today. 
 
Today I want to capture forever some things that my husband said to me.
 
Today I'm wishing I had a video camera that worked so that I could capture my husband and children exactly as they are right now. Just in case anything tragic ever happened, I would be able to hear their voice and see their smiles. It's morbid, but it's true. I have video of my dad, you know. Not much, but I have one of him playing pinochle with his buddies. I love it and I am so grateful to hear his voice every now and then. Next week Bryon and I will watch the only video he has of his dad, too. I know I do a lot of photography, but it's not the same as a voice. I know I'm grateful to have some video of baby Mabel and my mother, too. One day I will want that.
 
Where was I? Oh yes. Life has to go on after a loss. However changed we are, we are better. 
 
Last night, Bryon and I laid in bed staring at one another. We talked about this and that, and we talked about our friend. We talked about how his widow must be feeling. All the details that we can't stop thinking about, no matter how hard we try to distract ourselves. There is some gruesome shit in our heads, Peeps. It's taken Bryon two full days to shake loose of the numbness that had gripped him.
 
The remainder of this post are things he said to me and about me last night as he was staring into my eyes and running his right hand through my left hair. I love when he runs his right hand through my left hair. He has been cloaked with work for months and hasn't verbalized his feelings in a while. Last night, the cloak fell off and he wanted to be sure I felt secure and knew, even though he is working a lot right now, exactly what is in his heart.
 
I asked him what he would say about me if a stranger asked him about his wife. This is how he replied:
 
She is my Jackie O.
She is not ordinary.
She is beautiful.
She looks good in Narnia snow.
She is long-legged.
She says exactly what is on her mind.
She says things a comedian would say, things that shock even me.
She has a lead foot.
She gets me.
She is always my first thought.
She lets the smallest things bother her.
She is a mother.
She bakes the best meatloaf I've ever had in my life.
She likes Jack.
She likes Dierks.
She likes Brad.
She is religious.
She got me re-engaged with God.
She completes my life.
 
 
 
I love him so.

1 comment:

  1. I wasn't quite sure what to write, but then decided that the act in itself would say something to you, even if the words were a bit clumsy. Thoughts and love being sent your way....

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