March 2, 2012

ONE (plus a story)

One year has passed since I became the fabulous Mrs. Krutsch (having been made fabulous by the Mrs. part). We arranged for two babysitters to manage our crew (alot like herding cats in my opinion) for three days and we took off to an undisclosed location for our anniversary weekend. Plans were as follows:

Eat at 'our' restaurant (where I observed the cutest blonde haircut)
Listen to fantasic music (such as you will see below)

Listen to live music and enjoy adult beverages... and flirt. A lot. There was big ole' kissing circa 2010 - WOOT. (Yes, he's yawning - past his bedtime!)

Hotel was within walking distance, don't worry.
The jacuzzi in the room. Cannot. Forget. The Awesomeness! We sat in it eleventy times.
Lots of comfy clothes walking and socks and sleeping in.
Lots of other things much less sleep-related.
Fancy sushi; the husband decides eel is not his favorite, but eats it again.

Time alone to read Janet Evanovich and Golf Magazine. Yes, in the jacuzzi.
Lots of hand-holding. Okay. Also in the jacuzzi.
Talks about when we met. Reminiscing and all that yumminess.
Not great photos, but we were living in the moment.
And then, when we got home Sunday night, we read our vows to one another again. Best. EVAH.

Happy first anniversary, Love.

Now, I need to tell you good people a story. It's a great story about the blessings of marriage and the power of two. I've thought for days how to write it all out correctly, for you to feel the gravity of what is happening along with me... but I'll just have to wing it. And it's a great story to tell you in this post.

Bryon and I have been dealing with some very serious work stresses recently. They are affecting our family and we are working with our Heavenly Father to navigate through them. These stresses cause arguing (for no bloody good reason either), they cause us to be short with one another and the kids, they make us too exhausted to move, and most certainly distract us from our purpose on this earth: to walk as Jesus and be His light. Enough of that. Even though yes, we find each other every single day and work hard to preserve our love and prioritize it, ENOUGH OF THAT. Enough of letting it get to us. Enough of letting it in. No. We say NO.

On Wednesday night, we were discussing again. Hayley was dropped off already and the other 3 were in bed finally. We collapsed on the couch in a mess of tired bones, too exhausted to even pet each other. "What if this?" both of us said, with different trailing questions. After a time, it became increasingly clear to both of us that we cannot fix this world swirling around us. We cannot make it better or less stressful. ONLY GOD CAN. And so, because I am the vocal Jesus Freak in our house (of the hand lifting, Amen-ing in church variety), I said just that out loud. I encouraged my husband to give it up to Him again. I told him a story of how, one time after Shoes, I lay there on my kitchen floor in my very own house and sobbed to Jesus for help. 

And so after a while my very tired husband stood up and moved Kiki and her brown ottoman (that is HER ottoman, by the way) across the living room floor (she didn't flinch). Then he walked back in the dim light and took my hand. He knelt in front of the couch, beside me with his black pinstriped golf shirt on, and asked me to join him. "We are going to do this differently tonight," he said. I stood up and kneeled beside my husband. And the moment my knees hit the carpet, my heart changed for my husband yet again. Pride swelled and I felt Jesus right there with us. I know he's everpresent, but I mean I FELT him. We wrapped arms and intertwined our hands into a knot. Then we leaned our foreheads in and down, and we prayed together.

Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be also. 

For several very long minutes, we prayed and sniffled. We prayed until my forehead was stuck to the brown leather from dried up tears. Bryon prayed until the rims of his eyes were pink and he was calmer than I've seen him in months. Then we opened our eyes and looked at each other and smiled. And we stared silently off into space for several minutes more, quietly adding postscripts to our prayers. I thought of my daddy in Heaven, about how he used to pray just like that with me when I was little, kneeling with me at the edge of my white canopy bed. Despite the difference between the powder blue carpet in my childhood bedroom (with the pink shag rugs), and the beige carpet in my home with my husband, the feeling was exactly the same in my heart. And also, both my husband and my daddy are very hairy. All of this likeness made me smile and thank Jesus.

That night was the most restful sleep we've had in so very long.

And yesterday? God answered. He answered each of us by way of something distinct and good. We felt the pull to obey what He was asking of us - to do our part, and so we did. Such beauty comes from obedience. 

Even today, more joy is happening around us. Our God is amazing!

All of this to say that I look forward to so many more years with this man! He is a GIFT.

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