April 23, 2012

If You...

If you looked into my home you would see:
  • laundry that wasn't put away last night because the kids were too busy playing and I was just too tired.
  • papers from Spongebob band aids, because Mabel's wart finally fell off.   
  • new curtains that were put up this past weekend. I'd been waiting for just the right ones to come along and when West Elm put them on clearance, I pounced.  
  • a box of pink golf balls, just waiting to be lost in the pond by yours truly.
  • a mess of shoes by the door, including Bryon's favorite white slides.
If you looked around my office
  • you would see prize artwork done by my girls: John the Baptist, a spider, and a lion specifically.
  • you would hear my husband's voice paging over the intercom, sounding stressed and tired.
  • you would find way too many snacks in my bottom right desk drawer and 4 bottles of water in varying degrees of fullness.
  • you would hear someone in my area so very unhappy with her life and her job that she is constantly negative about everything in this world, and it really has become a challenge to work nearby her on a daily basis.
  • you would see white flux dust on the floor beside my chair, where my husband stood this morning after prooving yet again that he is, in fact, a Jedi.
If you looked into my phone
  • you would see hopeful texts to our rotation of sitters for the upcoming weekend.
  • you would see an Instagram photo of an elephant in Uncle Shannon's pants.
  • you would find a locked message from Bryon that says "I love you, my dear. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for always being there for me." I go back and reread it sometimes. Okay, a lot.
If you looked into my head you would see:
  • parts of date plans for this weekend including which restaurant, which day, and wonderment if my husband will have worked more than 12 hours at that point.
  • meal plans for the week, including weekend leftovers, tater tot hot dish, and shrimp tacos.
  • uncertainty and hope surrounding a very important and new project that I can't discuss yet.
  • the words "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,and in his word I hope" from Psalm 130:5. 
  • lots and lots and lots of constant prayer about that project.
  • lots and lots and lots of constant prayer about Shoes and the summer visit.
  • me, trying to remember where I put my iPod last (please don't be lost).
If you looked into my heart
  • you would see a little conflict between human and spirit
  • you would notice the worry about this new project and this summer - two things heavy on my heart right now - causing so much human insecurity and fear.   
  • you would feel joy and warm peace in the arms of my Heavenly Father, who loves me and finds me capable and worthy of eternal life and joy - this is battling it out with that worry I mentioned.

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