The missing is hard.
The other morning while brushing my teeth, I wondered if Trevor has been reading. Maybe he's saving it up for when he gets home but I love how much he loves to read. I have some plans for a library in his room. I can't wait to tell him about it.
On my drive in last week I thought of Andy's freckles. I wondered how long his hair is getting and how many spots were on his face from the sunshine kisses he's been getting. I hope everyone is being kind to his tender heart. I miss that heart. He hung on us for weeks before they left; I hope he stocked up enough hugs from mommy. I suspect I will spend a weekend with him on the couch, cuddled into a lump, when they get back. I am 100% okay with that.
Mabel. Is she practicing her cartwheels and front flips for everyone? Is she being safe near the water while swimming? How long is her hair growing. Will she look 16 when she comes back. Of all of the children, she is the most like me. She looks the most like her father of our 3 but she acts just like her mama. Loud. Silly. Stubborn as hell. I miss her so much.
Husband and I have had such a wonderful time over the past couple of weeks. Marriage upkeep and all. Oh how I love him. He is absolutely my best friend and I cannot lie; I absolutely beg God to give me 50 more years with that man on this earth. He makes me a better person, a better me. He makes the effort to learn who I am and to keep UP with me. He lets me freak out on him and then he picks me up and dusts me off. I ask that once we get to Heaven, please God let me see him there. Let me continue to love him there, to see his beautiful green eyes. I don't know exactly what Heaven will look like, but that's my Heaven right there: worshipping God Almighty beside the love of my earthly life. And the children there, too. Sigh.
I am so grateful to witness my husband's growth in Christ. I am grateful that he shares it with me. It's hard for all of us to trust in something we cannot see, you know. It's hard to have faith as an adult when you already think you have everything under control. And I imagine its even harder for a man who already considers himself responsible for his family. I get that. And my husband is a tremendous family leader. I couldn't be prouder of how he leads us and prays for us and moves for us, for all of the kids, and for me. But I have watched him grow in faith over the past several months in ways I've never witnessed before. It's amazing and so fruitful for us. I thank God for allowing me to see that and be excited by it. And being a Godly MAN is different from being a Christian BOY - there are a whole slew of additional requirements. It is HARD. I think that when someone sees something tangible that God is doing for them, THAT is what grows faith even more. HOPE. You ask Him, you are obedient, and then BOOM... He answers. You just have to open your eyes to see it. It's in His way and in His time, of course, but that answer is deliciously sweet because He gives you the perspective to see it for what it is. Love from God above to his beloved child. And when we put ourselves completely out there to God, He takes us over. COMPLETELY. That is exactly what I want for us, both of us. It is his greatest gift.
One day this week, I had a hard time leaving the bed. Bryon got up and went to work early. My fingers were spun up in his chest hair when he rolled to sit, and then stand, leaving me sprawled across the entire bed. Out here in Da Plains it is fully light by 5:30am in the summer time, which is how I knew it was earlier than that: still blue in the bedroom. I love when it's blue in the bedroom. Rain slapped the window and thunder cracked outside. It was glorious. It's a sedative, that noise. I'd like to play hookie with him on those days and do nothing but kiss and giggle beneath the covers.
My hide is chapped today and I will tell you why. MESSY, CRAZY HAIR. Specifically: embracing it. This is manifesting itself to me in a few ways:
1. Myself. I love smooth, sleek hair. But I especially love hair that was smooth and sleek that has become messy from bedhead, working out, whatever. Sloppy all whichway with a headband. And I adore the headbands that are less Charlotte Rosenblatt and more Carrie Bradshaw - you know, pulled forward on the forehead. And despite all of this hair lust, I have not yet embraced this look. I have a pile of darling headbands at home that stare at me all the time. I am working on this messy, crazy hair with lengthening the time between washing (also good to keep color you know) and doing the messy bun. But there will be more here. If I could go back to my 20 year old self and say something, it would be this: embrace your hair color and wave. Leave it long and just strap it up. Headband it up. Get used to something on your head and then wear the hell out of it!
2. My daughter. She has wavier hair than I do and I fully admit to making certain she embraces messy, crazy hair now because Girlfriend is gonna have it! She could care less as long as she feels pretty and it's clean (that one is my rule). She loves to wear headbands and stocking caps and barrettes. I gave her bangs once when she was little. BANGS ARE A MISTAKE ON MABEL. The hair curls because she has a colick on each side of her forhead. That plus curls = ridiculousness. Mabel's hair looks best long and tucked behind her pixie ears, I think. With straps across her forehead.
3. My stepdaughter. I don't want Hayley to be afraid of the hair God gave her and always rely on 45 minutes in the bathroom to make her feel pretty. Sometimes you gotta just let it be funky and go with it. Unless it's a wedding or a play or the President's a-comin' [and even then] I just don't see a reason to curl a child's hair myself. I'm old-fashioned like that.
Father's Day was ridiculously awesome. Bryon NEVER spends money on himself. For this reason Father's Day was high on my priority list this year as a way to spoil him up. He deserves some good spoiling. He had to work Saturday morning, so his mother, Hayley and I took off for a day of shopping. It was a success! On Sunday morning, Bryon woke up next to a TaylorMade driver (one that he's been eyeing for over a year) on his pillow. He was out of his head excited! And then he went out into the kitchen to make me coffee and stumbled over his new Nike golf bag. It's wicked: bright green and gray. He came running back into the bedroom to scoop me up and hug and kiss me. THAT was the best - seeing his happy face. Hales gifted him with a ton of Nebraska goodies, too. And we put that club and that bag to good use on Sunday, which was awesome. Hollah to the daddies out there! A special thanks to Shoes for making a phone call to Bryon possible from Andrew and Mabel. It made Bryon's day even brighter.
Of all fruit, cherries are the most difficult to eat at your desk. I mean, did you know? Aren't you so glad I've warned you? Right. Be prepared for the pits and the slurps and the drips on your dress pants. I'm just sayin'.
It would appear that summertime has hit Da Plains. Holy hotness, Batman! I love it. I'll continue to love it for a few more weeks and then I'll be ready for football season. It's been in the 90's. When we golfed for Father's Day it was 92 outside, with 40 mph winds. Talk about a hard swing! My little pink ball actually blew off of the tee a few times.
Verse on my mind lately:
OBADIAH 1:15 For the day of the Lord is near upon all the nations. As you have done, it shall be done to you; your deeds shall return on your own head.
I peeked at the football gear this week. Trevor is signed up to play again this fall; it will be his fourth year. The kid is gonna BRING IT this season. He's leaning out and eating more. Still thin, but he is so much more coordinated than he was even a year ago. It amazes me and makes me proud. Can't wait to take him to pick out some [green of course] gear: practice shirts, gloves, and knee socks. Bryon is really looking forward to helping him with another season. It's their thing. My thing is shouting praise and taking pictures of his amazing talent while wearing cute sweaters and scarves on the sidelines.
BelVita blueberry breakfast biscuits are my favorite.
The new JCrew catalog caused me to pass the freak out when I opened it. Gosh even the cover had me salivating. I love me some good fashion. Going to have to babysit the sales BIG time to scoop some of the yumminess up when it becomes affordable. Also, looking through the catalog always gives me great ideas on things to look for at the thrift store and at Target. Just because the look starts on Pinterest or in the JCrew catalog doesn't mean you have to buy it all from there and give up your left leg. No thank you. So... awesome looks for this fall is what I'm saying.
Lastly, I did some crafting that I can't wait to share with you! Soon!