August 21, 2012

On Anonymous, Take Deux

* I am updating this post this evening. Let the record show it is 6:47pm CT. I am sitting in my living room. Mabel is in time out for not listening, Andy is playing, and Trevor is at football practice. My bills are paid, I have on clean underwear, and I have absolutely picked my nose today. For those of you who gave me the platform to begin with, thank you. For those of you who need this second "go," take note.

Oh, Anonymous. People I don't know and can't respond to asking me questions with just a tinge of judgement. It's frustrating to not be able to respond to you personally. I have had many anonymous comments over the years. Some are fantastic. After a few nasty ones, I thought it was time to overshare on some of the topics folks seem so curious about. One time. Because I'll be danged if someone is going to boss me in this place. Oh heck no.

Folks, this is my blog. It's my thoughts typed out onto the interwebs and then scrubbed by ethics and manners. It's not a Lifetime movie (though I realize it often reads like one) full of all perspectives of my life. Sometimes it makes no sense at all to anyone but me and possibly Lulu. If you are bothered by something I mention or are so concerned about the logistics of my writing, then I would invite you to explore a book, someone else's blog, or to perhaps go for a nice long eyebrow wax.

I hope readers will understand that I do not and cannot mention every detail. Sometimes leaving holes is because of a lack of time. Sometimes it's because I cannot speak for other people. You will not find juice here, unless you count the truth. I realize there is risk in leaving out detail because Anonymous may begin to draw their own conclusions. After all, I'm not giving you all of the dots on the page. But I do try. And everyone should know by now that my integrity is mighty high. Truth is paramount. Anything less than truthful is slander. And boy howdy, I'm not into that.

Apparently there exists another paradox on this blog. Another Anonymous recently commented that I am kind and introspective in this space (why thank you), but sort of implied that I am not the same in person. Busted. Total bitch on Tuesdays. Seriously, depending on where and when I see Anonymous in real life - is it at the grocery store when I'm a cranky bitch at the end of the day, at work when I'm busting ass to get a million things done, or around the house when I'm calm and relaxed and can remind myself to be KIND on the outside, too? - I bet they have seen my dark side. My dark side is especially cranky when I have to do something to clean up for someone else. It's easy to jump to conclusions if you ask me to do your job during the day, to mop up my kids after a disappointment, or to go through a grocery list after I've worked 50 hours in a week. Yes, I said 50. I do mean it when I say: Whoever you are, I hope I get the chance to be nice to you in person one day soon, and I'm sorry if you caught me in a cranky moment. However, I will make no excuses for being cranky sometimes. I bust ass all day every day and if you catch me in the wrong moment, I might bite. I pray about that every night.

Folks, let's take a moment to remember that we are all HUMAN. Human = flawed. Being a Christian does not automatically make my mouth and mind incapable of sin or crank. It also doesn't mean I won't be hostile or snarky in this post. That's the reason He died for us, after all! Christ Himself was the only perfect man. The rest of us just try our best and then keep trying when we mess it up. And boy oh boy, do I ever act human sometimes.

Finally, I want to clarify one more thing - because I have a lot of readers who also know me in real life and who seem very curious about how I find time to blog almost daily. And by curious, I definitely mean NOSEY. Because I work full time and mother 4 children full time, and hankypank with the Husband full time, I write blog posts all the time. Ahead of time. At night, usually while he's snoring. Because my brain doesn't turn off. Sometimes I write 8 posts on a Saturday afternoon because I'm swirling with ideas. Sometimes I write something down and shove the paper in my bag until I get home and can type it all out. I also keep notes and text myself when I'm inspired to write. Blogger allows me to queue posts to publish at certain times during the day. Other times I publish something with 2 clicks on my phone while parked in my car (notice I did not say while driving). Prewritten, see? That's the secret. It's probably not as glamourous as Anonymous people think it might be - and it definitely doesn't require me to neglect my homelife or children, make mistakes at my job, or to put my heels up on the corner of my desk, but there you go.

And with respect to time management: People, I "pin" like a mother. I pin always. I pin while I potty. (What, you don't?) I pin while I check the mail outside, while I cook, and definitely to unwind at the end of the day. If you take issue with my level of interest in Pinterest, then I suggest you find something to busy yourself with. You should consider Pinterest. It's fabulous. And whoever anonymously wondered if my employer is okay with me doing something other than work during those 50 hours a workweek, then I would remind that Anonymous that I use my breaks wisely. And why yes, I do have permission to do whatever I feel like it during that break time, as spread out as I want it to be. You bet your ass my integrity at work is every bit as tight as my integrity every other place.

Thank you all for your comments. I do especially appreciate the ones that make me think. I love the ones when Lulu says, "That's horseshit - more snark! Now!"

I love them all, even the Anonymous ones. Thanks for reading! More mindless drivel tomorrow!

Carry on, Peeps. Carry on.


  1. I love it when you quote Lulu!!! I love snarky ;)

    Oh and I so wished we knew each other in real life!!

    Someday my friend, someday.

  2. I have no respect for comments that are unsigned. Grow a back bone people.