August 13, 2012

Right Now, I Am...

:: listening to Pearl Jam’s Just Breathe.

:: sighing with resignation of worry of too many things … God’s command is to trust in Him wholly and not to worry – oh boy, how I need work on this one.

:: hoping this lovely, cooler (70’s) weather continues for several more weeks before chilly fall begins. 

:: feeling full of confidence in my ability to mother this herd of 4 that I have. God is trusting me and I take that very, very seriously.  

:: seeing fog on my way to work recently, calmly laying atop the soybean leaves – just floating there all beautiful. Fog is calm; fog doesn’t worry.

:: noticing the remarkably strong hands my husband has, remembering the first time I paid close attention to those hands, as he hug a ministry sign at the plant for me.

:: wondering when I will make time to sew again.

:: dreaming of the day when I can retire from this job that I have to do the job that I love, and squealing with the random coolness of it all. It might be several years before it happens, but a girl can dream.

:: loving my new vintage Timex watch, a steal on Etsy. I can’t glance at it without thinking of my dad, moseying about in Heaven without hair on his left wrist from a watch so strikingly similar to this one.

:: thinking of all the things I need to put up on our chalkboard wall, including: school orientation dates, football schedule, Dr’s appointments – just to keep my brains straight.

:: promising God I will try harder to rely on only Him, instead of my inability to control the world around me. So sorry, Father.

:: smelling the body spray I picked up at the Gap last week: Dream. It was the exact same scent I wore in high school and Mabel’s new favorite smell to smell.

:: anticipating the new season of Gray’s Anatomy. So, so excited to see what happens.

:: feeling joy at our pastor’s request this weekend – during the service, Bryon and I laid our hands on a missionary together and prayed for his mission… it gave my heart such immaculate joy to do this with the love of my life, for the Love of My Life. I realize it seems small, but it feels gigantic and wonderful. Even Bryon was moved at the way God gets our attention and focuses it on others.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post. I, too, worry and need to let go, let God more often.

    Thanks, Rachel. I needed the reminder.