October 14, 2013

The Story

When I die, I request that someone PLEASE use this song when they make the photo montage of me and my children. I want them to soak up every word and think of my buzzer kisses and tickles. Because these lyrics - wow. They are a perfect melody to what runs through my head when I love on my littles. I was made for you.

And when I hear this song, tears fall from my eyes EVERY TIME.




And every time I consider all that I have done for them and will do for them and would go through for them, I am so proud that God gifted them to me to care for and love and mold. I am proud and honored that I have this task. It is a pleasure, this duty. They are amazing to hold and love and have in my life. I would do everything all over again and more.




My children may never realize everything that I endured to protect and provide for them on this earth. They may never realize how much of a gift our exact life situation was and how it led all of us closer to Christ. They may never understand how God alone kept me sane and healthy and smart for them, how He provided for us over and over again. Maybe they will - but it is okay if they don't. I know. And God knows.

They are so worth every single bit of struggle.




I scraped everything I could together to feed them. To put clothes and shoes on them. I balanced everything for more than a decade alone, never dropping a single detail, or forgetting a single school event, or ignoring a single runny nose. I worked full time and mommied full time, and I have kicked ass at it for almost 13 years. I fed babies and balanced a budget. I made them quilts and gave them thrifted toys. I brought them to love Jesus and they watched me love Him, too. I bought a home all by myself, for them. And you bet I would stand in front of a train for them. I will protect them until forever. All of that glory goes to God.

This song says it all. It is my ANTHEM to my children. I'd love to sing it to them, but I know I couldn't make it through more than the first line without dissolving into tears. Instead I'll just tell them every time I can how important they are to me and how much I love their little bodies hugging against mine. I will memorize their eyelashes and count their freckles and give them buzzer kisses. I will stay actively engaged in their lives. And I will lay and cuddle with the big one every time he asks me.

I was made for you.

And... if you have ever been a single parent, I dare you to listen to this song without tissues. You won't make it.





All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true... I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do and I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true... I was made for you

Oh yeah, well it's true... that
I was made for you...

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