1. Bryon left early for a meeting at work before 6.
2. I got up at 6 and tripped over two cats on my way to find my robe. I came away without permanent injury, but there are bruises and pissed off cats.
3. I woke Andrew and Trevor and then stopped to notice the wash machine was out of balance. I pulled all of the ice cold and wet clothes out, wrung them, and reloaded.
4. When I woke Moo I noticed that she’d drawn all over her rainbow heart sheets. In ink.
5. I brought Mabel’s backpack upstairs and then realized we forgot to take the garbage out. I rolled the garbage can out in fake Uggs and a robe. A gust of wind proved that a terrible idea.
6. In the kitchen, I threw the roasts in the crockpot and said a silent prayer that Bo won’t knock the lid off while it is cooking today. Mental note: block crockpot lid removal before leaving.
7. I emptied last weekend’s chili into a container for freezing and almost didn’t spill all of it on the counter.
8. Kiki circled my legs, meowing like Simon’s Cat. She feels wronged that we don’t feed her eleventy five times a day.
9. When the kids appeared in the kitchen, I dispatched breakfast and gave the following chores before the bus came: Mabel, put away shoes. Trevor, dirty clothes downstairs and clean clothes upstairs. Andrew, dishes and garbage/recycling. Morning chores usually keep them occupied so they don’t kill each other while waiting for the bus.
10. My coffee brewed just as the coffee maker ran out of water.
11. When I finally got into the shower and began to plan my day, the kids were done eating and wanted to brush, poop, wash, comb before the bus came. Sigh.
12. Trevor knocked to tattle that Andrew turned on the garbage disposal without realizing a tiny glass cup had fallen inside. Shards of glass everywhere, but don’t worry, Mom.
13. In an effort to allow me some peace, Trevor cleaned the glass out of the disposal without cutting himself, however finding a plastic medicine cup and half a stir stick also inside. Mental note: check garbage disposal before leaving.
14. Mabel knocked because she forgot to brush her teeth and instead painted the front of the cabinet with sparkly blue toothpaste.
15. Checked if Andrew had any homework, anything I needed to sign, any tests coming up, or anything on his mind before school: check. Same for Trevor and Mabel, during her toothpaste painting party. Check and check.
16. I dispatched Trevor to assist Mabel with shoes and her coat and reminded him to please be nice to Andy this morning.
17. When there was finally silence in the bathroom, I tried to lose myself in the sound of the water beating the floor by my feet. I started planning Hayley’s birthday weekend in my head.
18. Suddenly there was wild and crazy screaming and the sound of the front door opening. “NOOOO-AH!” and “DOOOOOOONN’T!” and crying. Has something happened? Why is Andy screaming? Andy is always screaming but this sounded like hurt screaming.
19. I immediately left the shower clamoring to save a life, shower cap on my head, covered in soap, and half a towel around my boobs. How I didn’t slip on the tile is beyond me. When I got to the top of the steps I assessed the situation and all 3 of them were startled at my concern. They quietly looked at me in wonderment. I was FURIOUS that they’d pick on each other and scream to the point that I was alarmed enough to stop showering and emerge naked. And of course the front door was wide open.
21. After I kissed them out the door and onto the bus with 20 reasons mom deserved an apology later, I finished my shower. I had no idea what I was planning in my head.
22. Late. When I dressed I noticed all the dirty laundry piled high in the basket; Trevor hadn’t taken it downstairs. Andrew also forgot the garbage and recycling and it was too late for me to do it.
23. Late! Packed lunch but couldn’t find a container for leftover chicken sausages and used a bag instead. Which I can’t use to reheat them anyway. And the snap peas were slimy.
24. Late! Forgot to stabilize the crockpot, am now certain we will come home to half-raw, mostly-eaten pot roast on the floor tonight next to a broken crockpot and a sick cat.
25. Late! Forgot to check the garbage disposal to make sure the glass was all out, am now worried Andrew will do dishes after their snack and turn it on, causing the whole damn thing to short out and die. Again.
26. LATE! Grabbed lunch, phone, and coffee. Remembered it was also recycling day immediately after exiting the garage and lowering the door. Opened the door and took the recycling container outside. IN THE RAIN.
27. LATE! Sigh.
PS: Miraculously, the cat avoided the crockpot and Andrew didn't use the sink.