November 11, 2013

If You Looked










If you looked into my home, you would see a gray cat sulking because he got into trouble for chewing on my black patent leather heels this morning.
You would see Daddy’s boots at the bottom of the steps, lovingly worn-in from hard work.
You would see photos of a happy family, blended by God. You’d see quilts on the couches and remotes on the floor.
You would see clothes sorted in the laundry and three messy kid rooms.

If you looked into my kitchen, you would see the autumn candle on the countertop,
filling the room with pumpkin and spice. You would see a basket full of cat food cans and a rotund, black kitty watching it very closely.
You would see an empty sink because the boys did a great job on dishes last night.
You’d see a cabinet stocked full of Paleo snacks, with everything a mess because little hands keep stealing the yummies out of it.
You would see a steel K on the counter right next to the cluster of bananas, perfect for banana pancakes on Saturday morning.
You would smell the chili that Bryon and I cooked for hours yesterday.

If you looked into my email, you would see a newsletter from Mabel’s kindergarten teacher. You would see coupons for JCrew, Free People, and Aritzia.
You would see loads of photos that I’ve emailed to myself from Instagram.
You would see that Mountain Baby Blankets is still alive and kicking – and a note from a pastor who shipped over 100 blankets to Appalachian Kentucky just a week ago!
You would see Hayley’s volleyball schedule and a reminder about Trevor’s football potluck next week.

If you looked into my phone, you would see that my husband texted me a photo of Beavis being Cornholio yesterday. You would see that my most recent
downloads were 90’s grunge music and Phil Wickham. You would see that I talked to Lulu last night for 25 minutes and texted my husband the color of my panties.
You would see hundreds of photos of everyday life, messy hair, and kitty cats.
You would see that I still read the same blogs daily and spend some time every night on Pinterest.

If you looked into my head, you would see me planning for Christmas and paying off bills. You would lists of ideas to update our home, room by room.
You would see a Christmas list for each of the kids and my stubborn Jedi. You’d know the meal I am planning to serve and the recipes I need.
You would see me ticking down the days to my dad’s anniversary in Heaven.
You would see that I’m already planning dinner tonight, tomorrow night, and Thursday. You would see the schedule of our family,
laid out like a roadmap of schlepping and full of pride that we schlep as a whole family.

If you'd look into my heart, you would see great pride in my relationship with Jesus Christ. You would see my gratitude for his daily forgiveness and great grace.
You would see how huge my love is for Bryon Ray Krutsch and for all 4 of the children we share. You would feel the happiness and confidence I have because God is a part of our marriage.

You would see old scars of worry and pain, but laying on top of those is great FAITH.

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