January 24, 2014

My Breakup With Victoria

I broke up with Victoria in December, even though I wanted to do it months before. I might even argue that I’ve wanted to do it for years, but couldn’t find the right alternative.

Almost every girl has a bra from Victoria’s Secret in their skivvies drawer. The details are beautiful. Delicate lace here, a polka dot there, and always the bow or round pendant in the middle. At about $50 apiece they are an investment, for sure. If they are your cup of tea, by all means, treat your ta-tas to some Vicky’s.  But not I.

A while back our local VS got a facelift and it opened my eyes. After a few weeks in a temporary location at the mall they moved back into their store, which had been given the brand’s “new look.” I shopped in the old store and in the temporary location, but when I went into the new store I noticed something new. Perspective or lighting, I have no idea. But everything hanging there looked exactly. the. same.  Sure, there were different varieties of lift and plump and jelly but it was startling to notice all of the bras hanging there, ready to help women pretend to be something they’re not.

Hmpf. That stuck in my craw and made me feel like I was pretending, too, by standing in there.

Now, sure there is a time or two when a gal wants to stuff her bewbies into cones and knock her husband’s socks off with a fancy, lacy bustier or big mama jama bra. Victoria’s Secret is one retailer that has everything you need for that purpose. I fully support a good husband-knocking. But under ordinary circumstances, I began to consider it uncomfortable to parade around in a bra that had so much stuffing. I love my boobs, so I started wondering why I was pretending they were something they aren’t. Why were my boobs hiding behind all that crap? Why was I selling out and buying into society’s view on how busty a woman should look? Why was I wearing something that could double as a pillow on a camping trip?


I began a replacement crusade. Somewhere on Pinterest I came across bralettes. They are darling and delicate and perfect for my boob size. Perfect for home-wearing, too – if you actually wear a bra at home. Which I usually do not. Anyway, more research led me to European site Journelle.com and as soon as I visited that website I made a promise to burn my bras. Journelle carries multiple brands for every shape, size, and comfort level if you get what I’m saying. And okay, okay, I didn’t actually set fire to my old Victoria’s Secret bras. I sent all $400+ of them to the thrift instead because it felt wrong to throw them away.

Journelle seems so classy (which is something I never feel while in Vicky's). Plus their website does NOT show models wearing the lingerie so it’s safe to peruse with your man without feeling like you’re inviting him to view porn (I HATE that about VS). So I saved up and then stocked up on a few new bras. I bought some with structure and some without. Vintage-y and modern. Feminine and delicate. So, so beautiful. With the sale I caught, my bras were cheaper than Vicky’s. Not a single one has padding but every single one is HAWT. Sexy. Comfortable. Even my husband was excited because I was excited. Wearing them, I feel beautiful and proud. I feel like MYSELF. Sure I bounce when I am going down the stairs, but that’s the way the good Lord made me. 

And so Victoria and I are over. Probably for good. Because there is nothing sexier to my man than the real and confident ME when mama comes a-knockin’.

Edited 01/29/14: www.journelle.com is having their semi-annual sale with an EXTRA 20% off using coupon code SALE20.  I share because I genuinely love them. They have no idea who I am.  :)

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